COMPLETE IN CHRIST MOMENT: “Overcoming Difficult Relationships with Fathers”

My advice to anyone who has been rejected and hurt emotionally or otherwise by his or her earthly father is this: Resist the temptation to judge your father in your heart (Matthew 7:1).  Here is a little bit of my personal story, along with a tribute to my earthly father.  I believe this will bless you.  “After scrolling through lots of beautiful tributes to fathers today on facebook, I decided to take my turn at publicly honoring the memory of my earthly father, the late Luther Speight II, a brilliant man and a courageous front-line soldier (called a “pick-up man”) in the Korean War. These were the men who literally risked their lives to pick up fallen and wounded soldiers and body parts from the battle-field to bring them back to the safety of the medical triage area. Most of us cannot imagine what a job like this does to the heart of a young soldier.  Like most men, my dad kept his personal pain and trauma to himself; in fact, I did not find out what he actually did in the war until I went through some of his personal things to help write his obituary much later in life. Unfortunately, when people build subconscious walls in an attempt to overcome the pain that is in their hearts, those same walls also keep love, tenderness, kindness and other important things from flowing freely out of their hearts. My relationship with my dad was always difficult and painful, but fortunately, we had the opportunity to reconcile in some ways before his death. God even granted me the privilege as a young minister of helping my dad to embrace the love of God in a deeper way in his latter years. This process also opened the door for me to draw closer to God as well.  Again, my advice to anyone who has been rejected and hurt emotionally or otherwise by his or her earthly father is this: Resist the temptation to judge your father in your heart (Matthew 7:1), no matter what you have been through. When we judge a person, we actually decide that we know the motives of that person’s heart, and we decide in our hearts the penalty that the other person deserves. These are sins that have grave consequences. When we judge someone in our hearts, then God has to use the same standard to judge us when we hurt others. When we need mercy from God or from the people whom we hurt in life, then God will have to withhold His mercy from us, because of the standard that we have unwittingly set in our own heart. The only way to receive the tremendous blessings that God wants to give us in life is to bring our wounded heart to God and allow God to be the Judge concerning the events that have happened to us in life. When we choose to obey God in this way, God will bless us … without fail. This is the way that we find favor with God as our heavenly Father (Proverbs 3). Our heavenly Father is the only One who can heal our heart and give us the power to truly forgive from the heart. Although God actually sees and feels our pain, we must remember that God also is able to see and feel the hidden pain of the person who may have caused our pain. Yes, God has mercy on those who have been hurt, but at times He also chooses to have mercy on those who have wounded and hurt us (Romans 9:18). We must accept this if we want the pain to stop going from one generation to the next. God is the only One who is able to judge fairly concerning our earthly fathers and the generations of pain which preceded them and led to more pain, and on and on. The prophet Malachi explains it this way: “Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse” (Malachi 4:5-6 KJV). You can break the curse of generations of emotional pain by choosing to honor your earthly parents in your heart, trusting your heavenly Father to do what is right. The result will be more powerful than you can imagine, and you will be amazed at the Grace that will be extended to you from God. Be encouraged! God can undo your pain. For more words of encouragement, follow my blog, and you can order my book entitled, Be Encouraged: God Can Undo It! (by Theresa Speight) from or by contacting me at Complete in Christ Ministries, Inc. P.O. Box 143, Greenwell Springs, LA 70739.

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